Let That Be Your Last Battlefield
Let That Be Your Last Battlefield
Each block represents a single tweet from the initial livetweet thread
“Oh good it’s another “weve got to go save the planet but oh no there’s a starship of some kind in our way” episode”
“”I think that might be a Starfleet vessel sir”
It’s an exact fucking replica of the Galileo Chekov, what do you mean “I think”?!”
“Wow those Hangar Doors sure are narrow, good thing they apparently never need to bring anything bigger than the Galileo on board”
“”This pigmentation is the natural condition of this individual”
Fuck off is it”
“”This alien is a mutation, a one of a kind”
The cover of this DVD has 2 of them on it so probably not Spock”
“”I’ve never worked on anyone like him”
“Yet you are pumping him full of your noxious potions”
Sorry when did Spock become an anti-vaxxer?”
“”That’s in an uncharted quarter”
Yeah how the fuck do you know what it is then Kirk”
“”Something out there can’t be seen. Explanation?”
“None”
YOU HAVE ENCOUNTERED CLOAKING DEVICES AT LEAST TWICE ALREADY SPOCK”
“Oh good their ships mean they can just fly inside the Enterprise and pop out onto the bridge, that’s definitely not incredibly overpowered, and presumably will never be mentioned again”
“”Lokai was tried and convicted of treason, but he escaped”
And conveniently found a Galileo style shuttle craft in this uncharted region of space?”
“So is the idea here going to be that even in a society where everyone is both black and white, people are still divided by which side of their face is which colour? Cause that’s a bizarre as fuck message”
“”I have a mission, thousands of lives at stake”
“That will not be satisfactory”
Oh good, another race of beings that think they’re more important than whole fucking species”
“”Put the ship on red alert”
So let me get this straight. Enemy Klingon vessel appears, yellow alert. Ship no go in right direction, immediate red alert?”
“”Cheron lies between 407 Mark 7, and Mark 9”
Soooooo…. Mark 8?”
“The metaphor is heavy handed, but the way the two Cheronians(?) Are always lined up perfectly when arguing to be showing the camera the same coloured side of their faces is actually pretty nicely done”
“”You are being obtuse captain”
You’re the one sentencing millions to death buddy”
“This whole destruct sequence thing is making me realise how stupid it is to not have a fake destruct sequence command designed for exactly this kind of situation
Unless that’s exactly what this, is but still”
“The extreme closeups on everyone’s lips as they enter their destruct codes is a nice touch but it’s made me realise just how small James Doohan’s mouth is, and I can’t unsee that”
“The code to activate the countdown being 0000 is very lax security from the Federation, Jesus”
“”The ship is going in a circular path”
“And at Warp 10, we’re going nowhere fast”
Scotty buddy, stick to the day job”
“”Disgusting is what I call them”
Uhhhh, Scotty? Really?”
“”One thing we agree upon is that Lokai is a criminal”
“No, the one thing we agree on is that he took a shuttlecraft”
Yes which is… A criminal offence? Making him… A criminal?”
“And of course, Bele immediately goes back on his word as soon as he works out how to break the self destruct, who could have predicted”
“”We’ve got your kind penned in to little districts on Cheron and you’re going to join them!”
Yikes, that’s a bit too holocausty for an episode that’s trying to both sides this shit”
“”If you believe his lies I shall have to destroy the ship!”
“I understand, now give me back control of my ship”
“Why not”
Hang on no, why return control if your goal is to get to Cheron??”
“Kirk’s empassioned speech on giving up their hate because it’s what killed their planet is beautiful, and I can only imagine Shitner had his fingers crossed behind his back the whole time cause there’s no way he believed a word of what he said”
“The guy playing Bele is “running” like a man doing a very offensive impression of a disabled person and it is doing a good job of removing any interest I have in this scene”
“How is Bele simultaneously far enough behind Lokai to have taken an extra minute or so to get to the transporter room, and close enough to have any fucking clue where Lokai went?”
“Set course for Starbase…4”
Okay so the delivery there made it sound like Kirk was picking a Starbase at random, but that’s the Starbase we’ve been discussing all episode. Did Shitner forget the line for a moment or something?”
“Well that was LTBYLB. Im gonna preface this by making very clear that I am white and my opinion means basically jack shit here, but this…idk. They both sides the racism argument way too much and it’s clearly not very well thought out, but I can see nuggets of good idea amongst the utter shite there. The impassioned speech from Kirk about how their hatred just leads to death and destruction is nice, and the idea of becoming consumed by hatred to the point of having nothing else left is an interesting angle, but my god they fucked it when they put “I don’t want to be racially profiled” and “we put your kind in camps” on equal footings here I don’t imagine I’ll watch this one again regardless, it’s… Well it’s something”